Meanderings of Adam and Stacia

I'm a 27 year old man.  I've been married for a little over a month now, almost a month and a half, I guess.  Life is getting to where I can say that it is starting to settle down, and I like that a lot.  For the first time in my life, things are seeming to fall into place and settle down into what I picture as my life being like for the next... SEVERAL years.  I have a family now.  I am a married man now.  We do family stuff.  We celebrate and commisserate together like families do.  There are times when it is somewhat difficult, but that is life, and that is genuinely ok because that is how we grow.

I recently did something that I haven't done in over a decade, for the most part.  I turned a page in my life and it is something that I am very proud of.  For nearly the last 12 years, I've worked with my dad in his law office doing all things secretarial and filling the roll basically of a paralegal.  It was a difficult job at times.  It was a slow job at times.  It was a huge blessing that put me through school and kept me out of the red the last decade.  I am eternally grateful to my dad for providing me with that job and for teaching me everything that he did and helping me to learn about the business world as much as I did.

Last week, I left working with my dad and started a new job with the company, CashCall.  I hadn't started a new REAL job in years and years, and starting this new job was such a pleasant surprise.  First off, I got the referral from my best friend, Joe.  He's worked there for several years, and he sent me a text one day and said his friend who is a manager there was looking for someone to hire.  I decided to see what it was all about, sent an email, and set up an interview.

So I interviewed and ended up getting the job.  I've now been working as a Quality Control Auditor for a week.  I am the guy who listens to the recorded phone calls from companies that say "this call may be monitored for quality assurance".  It is actually a super fun job.  I've come across some super fun phone calls and on top of that, I work with a really great team.  I work with 3 other people on my team, and then we all have a manager.  So we are a team of 5, and they are all really great.

I'm very much enjoying my new work.  I very much look forward to several more weeks, months... even years there.  The people are great, the work is pretty enjoyable, and it is close to home... the pay is pretty good, too... so that's nice.

Bottom line... I began a new chapter of my life and I'M LOVING IT!!!

Well you guys, I know you've been keeping up... probably more than I have, and I'm the one who is doing all the work for it (as opposed to you, not doing any of it... cause we all know that STACIA IS FOR SURE DOING THE MAJORITY OF IT BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING).

Anyway... I need to update a few things here.  I think as of the last post, we'd just picked up both our rings... well, I already had mine, but we finally picked up hers after it got sized appropriately, so that is simply amazing.  We've got the rings.

Next thing... All the bridesmaids and groomsmen finally have their dresses/suits.  So that is a huge stress off my chest.  I know that I was worrying that the guys weren't going to get their suits in time or that the girls were going to miss the deadlines for picking up their dresses or something silly like that.  I really am just a little bit crazy when it comes to this stuff.  I just worry that things aren't going to get done, because I KNOW THAT I AM FORGETFUL, and so I just worry that sometimes other people might be as well, so I try to help as much as possible, and that sometimes leads to me feeling super stressed out for reasons that I don't need to be.  But that doesn't even matter at all, because everyone is set on their attire, everyone got their dresses and their suits.  So that is a huge checkmark off the to-do list.

There are several little projects I've been working on... a lot that Stacia is totally aware of, and then a couple that she has no idea about (sorry, baby, it's a surprise... but don't worry... only 12 more days until you get the surprise)!!  It has been somewhat difficult to keep working on all these things while still trying to maintain everything else going on in life, but I'm getting there, I'm doing it.  It may be hard at times, but that is what makes me appreciate the rest of the times soo much more.

On a sidenote, I filed another Leave of Absence from school.  So that means that I am going to delay graduating another semester... which means I won't be done until May of 2012... which isn't a bad thing.  I technically have until Fall of 2013, but I just want to be done with it, ya know?  I want to be able to be finished with school, have my Master's and get a good job... get working into a steady career that is at least SOMEWHAT enjoyable, if that's possible, so that I can feel like I am contributing to my family.  Yes, I am working right now, but I'm only working part time, and that is difficult as a man and as the leader of a family to not be bringing home the main source of income.  But I am coming to understand, with the wonderful help from Stacia, that God gives us different things at different times.  And perhaps right now he is just trying to refine me into who I am supposed to be for my last semester at school so that who I am ministers to someone else, and they see Jesus in me... so I hope that this extra time, and this extra slap against my ego is going to be used in some way.

Ok friends, family and fans... I'm checking out for the evening, I'm tired.  I had a long day... there's only 12 days left until I get married... so I am trying to soak up as much rest as possible, cause this next week and a half is going to be stressful to the max!!!

Love you all and thank you soo much for taking the time to read these blogs.  Don't forget to check the Wedding Website for details about church location, wedding party, the story of how we met, our registry, or anything else about us!!  Please sign the guestbook while you're there.  We love reading what you have to say!!!

~ Adam

So this last weekend (August 5, 6 and 7), I did a lot of organizing and moving in of a bunch of my stuff into Stacia's house (soon to be OUR house).

Stacia works full time, and I am so incredibly proud of her and all the hard work she puts into her job each and every day.  Being the Financial Controller of a big company is very noteworthy and I couldn't be more proud.  I, on the other hand, only work part time, and while I'd like more hours to afford for more income, I'm willing to let the ego and pride fall for a bit because I'm also working on finishing my Master's in Literature and Writing and planning a wedding and looking for more work AND moving my life up and over to Stacia's house... so the part time work is good for now, because it allows me to do all the heavy lifting, so to speak, and get all the work done that needs to be done, and that Stacia doesn't necessarily have the time to do.

So, like I said, I moved a bunch of stuff over to her house and while it was incredibly exhausting and completely wore me out, I feel like it was very productive.  It's going to take some time to get used to the idea of living there and her house being our house... but with time it will feel like home... like OUR home.

I still have a lot to move over, and she's still got a lot to re-organize and move out, etc., but we're getting there.  There's only 46 more days until the wedding, and that blows my mind... it's literally just around the corner... a month and a half... crazy... AWESOME.

I am in the process of planning a wedding with my absolute best friend and fiance, Stacia. In just under 5 months, we are going to be married, which is the greatest blessing my life has ever known. She and I came together in the most unlikely of circumstances, and I wouldn't change a single thing about it, because our story is truly amazing and I love every line of it.

That said... it is safe to say that in all relationships, compromises are met and sacrifices are made for the heath and benefit of the other. I will absolutely acknowledge the compromises and sacrifices that my girl has made for me, and I am eternally grateful to her for each of them. She made them out of love for me and out of a desire to do what is right for us. In the same vein, I've made sacrifices and compromises for her, out of love for her and a desire to do what is right for us.

Now... I used to be a very heavy drinker. Some might even have called me an alcoholic, and I'd probably have agreed with that label. No, my drinking never affected my doing well at work or in school, but it truly and very negatively affected my emotional and mental stability, therefore, while I was still able to function, I was allowing my drinking to tear me down.

Since being with Stacia, I've grown and matured a great deal, and my drinking, as a personal choice of my own, never a request of hers, has become much more limited. Yes, I still enjoy a drink or two or three from time to time, depending on the circumstance, but I in NO WAY drink anything like I used to.

Some confuse my now more matured and more sober persona as a lack of happiness or joy in my life. And while I can understand that perception, I see it as completely the opposite. I am happier now than when I was drinking like I was back then. Was I happy back then, it most likely seemed so from the outside... always loud and part of the crowd, always making jokes and being the "fun" guy to hang out with. Yes, all these things are true, that's how life was for me as a heavy drinker. But I was empty. I was drinking like that to hide the emptiness.

Now... my happiness now is different. Some don't notice my happiness now or appreciate how right now I'm the happiest I've ever been, but truly... that is the case. I finally realized that I don't need alcohol to be a happy man. Like I said, I do still enjoy alcohol here and there, but I understand that I do not need it.

I'm saying, here, that just because my happiness and my joy do not seem like they once did, as loud and on the surface as it used to be (due to the alcohol and lack of inhibitions), my happiness and joy are still there... and much more meaningful and profound.

If you think I'm not the same guy I used to be... that's because I'M NOT. I'm a different man, a better man, a much happier man.

Just ask and you'll see it. Ask me why I love my fiance... look in my eyes as I explain the little things that make me love her... then try and convince yourself I'm not happy... You won't be able to.

Well... now the time has come for another update.  Yeah, it's been a while, about three weeks or so, since I last posted what all was going on, so I'm going to shout out real quick and let you all in on the most recent happenings for us.

Tomorrow, April 23, we are FINALLY getting our engagement pictures taken.  I may have mentioned, but we have scheduled twice before to have our pictures taken for engagement, but both times had to be cancelled, which we completely understood, but which still frustrated us.

So with that said, we're meeting with Jonathan Lavey tomorrow afternoon to enjoy the entire last half of the day shooting pictures in various locations and with various props, and some very special ones that will remain a surprise until a later time.

Yeah, so we are pretty stoked to finally get our pictures done, and we are excited that it gets to be with Jonathan, he's amazing.

I'll let you in on some of the shots at a later time when they are back to us.

~Adam

I was on my way in to the office this morning and something occurred to me.  Sure, I've thought it a few times before, even have written about it before, a poem I believe.  But that's neither here nor there.  The point is that I thought of this once again...

While I was on my way to the office, on the freeway, I noticed so many impatient people.  I was driving a bit over the speed limit, probably hovering right around 76mph or so (I don't like getting up to 80mph anymore, just to be safe).  And yet this speed, which was 10mph over the limit, was not fast enough for several individuals behind me.

I kept on having people get impatient with my already fast paced speed and pass me with such impatient and somewhat angry looks on their faces.  Where are they going that they need to get there an extra 20 seconds sooner?  That's all that going around me would afford them, an extra few seconds.  So after a few of these cars getting impatient and going around me, I just began to think... We go through life much faster than we are meant to.

When we speed from task to task, from point A to point B, we miss so much of what this life has to offer.  We get so caught up in what is going on in our cars, around our cars, on the side of the road, what's in our minds, etc. that we lose sight of the fact that RIGHT NOW is a gift, that's why it's call the PRESENT.  Cliche, yeah, I know.  But I don't care because IT IS TRUE.  We are all taking breaths as we read this, that is a gift.  We are all given the ability to read this with our own eyes... that is a gift.

We need to slow down and admire the world around us.  Even if the view isn't great, even if you're stuck in traffic... slow down your heart and your mind... YOU'VE ALIVE!!  You have been given the greatest gift of all... LIFE!!!

I know about the hustle and bustle of the world around us, I was raised in a family of six kids... I know how busy things can get sometimes.  I know that stress levels mount ALL AROUND US... believe me... I'M PLANNING A WEDDING AS I TYPE THIS... I know that stress is real and that it will ALWAYS hit us here and there... but that's not the point... the point is that IF we take the time to slow down and admire the beauty around us... the stress will feel a little less painful.

When I'm feeling stressed there are a few things I do that help me more than anything I could ever have imagined...

1)  When the stress levels are taking me over and freaking me out, making me feel helpless and hopeless... I close my eyes... I breathe deep, and I acknowledge that this is just a momentary stress, even if the moment lasts a month, two months, it is still JUST A FRACTION compared to the rest of our lives;

2)  I open my eyes back up to the world, and I thank God for the little things.  The fact that my windshield may be cracked, but it hasn't cracked any more in over three months.  The fact that I have a car to get me where I need to go, and that I have a job to pay for that car and all the gas that I need for it; and

3)  I realize that I've never been so blessed in my life as I am right now.  I AM MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND IN LESS THAN A YEAR!!!  One year ago today, I was in a pretty dark place, I was filled with depression and I was spiraling downward... and fast.  But then something happened, I realized that my friend needed a friend, and I went to her.  And from there, from that simple act of comforting someone I cared about... from there grew the greatest love I've ever known and I've never been happier than I am with Stacia Rae.  I would never change anything about her or our relationship.

So take the time to slow down... be a few minutes late... don't rush through the day... you'll miss something for sure.  I'd love to avoid the stress of planning this wedding, but I wouldn't miss ANY of it for the world... I don't want to speed through any of it, I don't want to miss ANY aspect of it.

Here is a little video I put together to illustrate my marriage proposal to my very best friend in all the world, Stacia Rae!!

javascript:mox();

Hey friend, family and fans:

With the beginning of this new year, I can see so very much that is going to happen and so much that I have to be excited for.  Some I can share right away, some I can't quite share just yet in that it is not ready to be revealed.

It's January 4, and tomorrow the majority of my family will be flying to South Carolina to see my baby sister, Carla, graduate from Boot Camp and officially become a Marine.  It is crazy what is going on in that kids life.  I think of her as a little kid still, but she's 19 and she is a United States Marine, it's crazy.  So we're flying across the country to see her graduate and share in her pride, so that's cool.

At the end of the month, the bar, The Gypsy Lounge, that I've been a bouncer at for the last 2 years is closing.  This place has been the epicenter of my music experience for the last 6 years.  Some of the greatest music and musicians I've seen in this world have been through this bar, and I've been entirely blessed to get paid for the last 2 years to sit and listen to this music as I check IDs and take money.  So it will be the end of an era, and this place will be missed... I am going to be losing a lot of music, and that is sad.

In May, I should be finishing my stint in graduate school.  If all goes as planned, I'll be walking with my Master's Degree in Literature and Writing in the middle of May... which would be amazing!  I've put so much hard work and a lot of time into this project and the fact that I can see the finish line in view... it's really almost overwhelming!!  I can't believe that it's almost here.

There are a few other things that I'm very excited for this year... but I'll save those for another day... but stay posted, you'll be excited.

Sometimes it is important to take a minute and realize the things in our lives that bless us each and every day. I just want to make sure I take the time to understand and be thankful for all the blessings I have in my life.

Yes, I complain from time to time, probably more often than I rightfully should, but at the end of the day, when I lay down to sleep, and I close my eyes, I can see all the things I've been given and all the blessings I've received and I make it a point to give thanks for those things, even for the things that have caused me pain in the past, but have made me the man I am.

That said, I just want to take a moment, set an example (mostly for/to myself), and just simply give thanks for the blessings in my life.

My family:

Rex (dad), Vivian (mom), Lorah, Travis, Jason, Faith, Josh and Carla. I love you all and have been blessed to be part of your family these last 27 years of my life, and I look forward to many more. Even though there have been some very difficult times, and some times that I may wish to erase, they have helped to shape each and every one of us to be the people we are today. Perhaps some of us still need shaping and working on, but we're going to get there, and in the end, we're all still going to be family, and that's all there is to it.

Xaden, Maverick, Elizabeth and Noelle... I love you all, sweet little children. It has been and will continue to be an honor to be your uncle, whether I get to see you or not, I will always be your uncle and will always love you guys and girls with all my heart. I hope that one day when you're all grown up, you'll look back and say that I did right by all of you, that I taught you something important, that I showed you love.

My friends:

I've had so many blessings in my life in the form of friendships. I may mention a few here, but if your name is not mentioned, please don't feel bad, there are just certain people in our lives that touch us, that make an impact and change us in some way that we'll never forget, and I want to acknowledge that.

Stacia Rae. You're my best friend, and I love you with all my heart.  You've become more important to me than I thought any one woman ever could. I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anyone ever before. I adore and cherish everything about you, and your friendship is so very important to me. Your relationship is more important than almost anything right now. I know that you were put in my life for a reason, and I know that reason is going to be a very lasting one. I know that you're for me, and I'm for you. We work so well together, we make each other happy, we were simply made for each other. The pains we've been through are so similar and have made it so that we connect on such a perfect and intimate level.  I have never had such a lovely and God-honoring relationship with anyone in my life and I love what we have and plan to keep it for as long as He allows me to.

Joseph Denges. Such a loving and caring man. I've known you for about 6 or so years now, we've gone through some pretty hard times together. We've been able to relate to each other through the pain we experienced together, and by melding and molding our friendship through such hard times, we've been able to come to each other through the hardest of times, and we've known that the other will always be there. You've been such a light to me, Joe, and I hope that I've been one to you. There were times when I felt so very alone, and there you were, offering your friendship and understand of my situations. I owe you so very much, Joe, I owe you my life. Thank you.

Justin, Matt and Dusty (the rest of the guys from Hollowell). You guys have all been so amazing to me in letting me become the fanatic that I've always been of your music. You've made it clear that above and beyond any idea of me as a fan, I am a friend first, and that means the world to me. You brought me with you as we traveled across the country to Tennessee and allowed me to be part of something that is still one of the most fun trips I've ever been on. Thank you so very much. Thank you for always including me in practices, as well as just regular times to hang out, all band business aside. It is that idea, those recognitions of friendship that I appreciate so very much.

Chris Jackson. What can I say about you, brother? I've known you my whole life, and while we don't get to hang out save for a few times a year, if that, now that we're both grown ups and both so very busy, I will never forget your friendship and will always cherish you and the impact you've had in my life. You were there with me in some pretty dark times, you stood next to me, you were my friend. Chris I love you, brother, I always will. I'm so very proud of the man you've become, the father that you are, and the husband that you are. I admire you and your dedication and love and loyalty.

Everyone at San Marcos. Having been homeschooled my whole life until college, going to school and attaining my degree (both of them, soon enough) is a very big deal for me. To be able to stand proud and say that I have a Bachelor's and a Master's in Literature and Writing will be a good day. There were some who said to my parents that homeschooled kids just aren't going to make it, or that they won't be as smart or do as well as public school kids. Well I stand as proof that we can and will achieve! Jane, Lea, James, Andrew, Jeff, Chris, Ken, Katy, Jeremy, Amira, Robynne, Cori, Martha, Yuan, Oliver, Heidi, Lance, Mark, Sue and many, many others... THANK YOU.

To anyone I didn't mention, I apologize, I still love each and every one of you.

Take a minute to be thankful.