Meanderings of Adam and Stacia

I am in the process of planning a wedding with my absolute best friend and fiance, Stacia. In just under 5 months, we are going to be married, which is the greatest blessing my life has ever known. She and I came together in the most unlikely of circumstances, and I wouldn't change a single thing about it, because our story is truly amazing and I love every line of it.

That said... it is safe to say that in all relationships, compromises are met and sacrifices are made for the heath and benefit of the other. I will absolutely acknowledge the compromises and sacrifices that my girl has made for me, and I am eternally grateful to her for each of them. She made them out of love for me and out of a desire to do what is right for us. In the same vein, I've made sacrifices and compromises for her, out of love for her and a desire to do what is right for us.

Now... I used to be a very heavy drinker. Some might even have called me an alcoholic, and I'd probably have agreed with that label. No, my drinking never affected my doing well at work or in school, but it truly and very negatively affected my emotional and mental stability, therefore, while I was still able to function, I was allowing my drinking to tear me down.

Since being with Stacia, I've grown and matured a great deal, and my drinking, as a personal choice of my own, never a request of hers, has become much more limited. Yes, I still enjoy a drink or two or three from time to time, depending on the circumstance, but I in NO WAY drink anything like I used to.

Some confuse my now more matured and more sober persona as a lack of happiness or joy in my life. And while I can understand that perception, I see it as completely the opposite. I am happier now than when I was drinking like I was back then. Was I happy back then, it most likely seemed so from the outside... always loud and part of the crowd, always making jokes and being the "fun" guy to hang out with. Yes, all these things are true, that's how life was for me as a heavy drinker. But I was empty. I was drinking like that to hide the emptiness.

Now... my happiness now is different. Some don't notice my happiness now or appreciate how right now I'm the happiest I've ever been, but truly... that is the case. I finally realized that I don't need alcohol to be a happy man. Like I said, I do still enjoy alcohol here and there, but I understand that I do not need it.

I'm saying, here, that just because my happiness and my joy do not seem like they once did, as loud and on the surface as it used to be (due to the alcohol and lack of inhibitions), my happiness and joy are still there... and much more meaningful and profound.

If you think I'm not the same guy I used to be... that's because I'M NOT. I'm a different man, a better man, a much happier man.

Just ask and you'll see it. Ask me why I love my fiance... look in my eyes as I explain the little things that make me love her... then try and convince yourself I'm not happy... You won't be able to.